Erin Lee- When I’m Dead

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They didn’t ask to be involved. So maybe it makes sense that they’ll be relieved when I’m dead. I mean, the way they see it, you can pretend it didn’t happen—and should—or make it someone else’s problem all together. That somehow relieves you of guilt. You walk away free and clear. Dad did. Mom too. And the others, who knew, but let them get away with it. No charges of guilt. No conspiracy. ‘It was all in her head,’ they said. Only it wasn’t. And they knew it.”
-Violet Hoffman


When I’m Dead

by Erin Lee

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Violet Hoffman is a planner. She’s had more than enough time—especially on holidays—to think this through. There’s really no point in turning back. Now, armed with a plan, Violet only needs to pull the trigger. She runs through her list of essentials: Motel room, check. Bottle of pills, check. Razor blades, check. Knife, yup. Purpose, check. Voice ready to be heard. Got it. Revenge, coming right up.

Violet is ready. After all, she decides, everyone is born for a reason. For most of her life, she’s been different. Since she was nine years old, she’s carried a secret that made it impossible for her to be normal. For a decade, she’s been torn between loyalties and healing. But now, finally an adult, Violet can let it all out. And it isn’t going to be pretty. But then again, being ‘pretty’ and ‘special’ really aren’t what they’re cracked up to be.

When I’m Dead is the story of an eighteen-year-old abuse victim alienated by her family. Ignored by a faulty system and shuffled from placement to placement, Violet is finally old enough to be heard. Sometimes, the best messages are given without words. And Violet’s always been a person of action.

Where will Violet’s plan and actions take her? Will she finally get her message across? What will they think of her, when she’s dead? Will they even notice?

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